Turns out the fridge wasn’t dangerous, it was the guy who loaded it into the trunk of his car.
I worried for a minute, I must admit.
My first thought was the fridge was full of rancid food, but that didn’t seem too newsworthy.
So, my imagination took over. Maybe the fridge was stalking people, maybe short people (like me, only less tall). It would sneak up behind them, open its door and snatch them up. But that’s ridiculous. Fridges don’t move that fast and are hardly the most stealthy of appliances.
More plausible, to me anyway, is that the fridge was actually a portal to a parallel universe. Someone opens the fridge door and gets sucked in. I discounted that theory on the basis that the amount of energy required would be greater than that consumed by even the most inefficient refrigerator. The electric company would have noticed the problem first.
So, I opened the article. The picture seemed to show that the fridge engaged in ‘bumper jumping,’ perhaps trying to flee a vile home life or maybe just for a joyride.
Then, I read the article and all became clear. There are no dangerous fridges, only dangerous people buying fridges. Fortunately, the fridge never left the parking lot in the configuration shown in the article.
So it goes.
- Dangerous fridge stopped by Richmond RCMP (cbc.ca)
- Police stop man from transporting fridge in car trunk (cnews.canoe.ca)
- Have You Cleaned Out Your Fridge This Month? (casasugar.com)
- Note to motorists: Don’t do this (calgaryherald.com)